Curse of The Goblin

Daniel Day Lewis Raped My Wife.
In Sidewinder Colorado, Higgins, Breezy Jim, Sugar Faggot Steven, John Faggots and Raptor Cunt have all inherited a 3 story house that is rumored to be haunted after a the former owner, Ray Lewis brutalled murdered 800 hookers there in the 1970's. The Happy family arrives to the house at noon and everything in the house seems fine, the main room is covered in cobwebs and is entierly lit by old candles, sheets cover the chairs, tables and couchs and there are faint blood stains on the floor. By the stairs, the chalk outlines from the crime scenes before. Higgins says "This place looks nice." Breezy Jim walks in with a box full of his stuff and says "I gotta take a shit" And throws the box to the floor, the sounds of breaking glass echos through the house as he runs up the stairs and looks for the nearest bathroom. Raptor Cunt and John Faggots come in next and Higgins ask them what they think of the house, Raptor Cunt shreiks like a dying seal and walks away with John Faggots. Across the street, two wifebeaters named Deadbeat Tom and Tony Satanic look out their boarded up window at their new neighbors and criticizes them. Deadbeat Tom says "Look at that one, Tony. That's a green alien if I ever saw one" Tony replies with "This is bullshit" Breezy Jim walks out from taking a shit and sees them looking at him so he pulls his pants off and starts jerking off while staring at them. This sends Tony Satanic into a rage, he yells out "That tears it! Wheres my fucking wife!!" And grabs a table lamp and runs up the stairs to beat the shit out of his wife. Back at the haunted house: Higgins finds his room and opens the door to find a giant lizard monster that leads out an ear shatteringly loud roar in his face, spit and years old blood shoot out from it's mouth and spray out onto Higginses face. Higgins says "Oh, sorry" And closes the door to find another room. In The attic, John Faggots unpacks his things while Raptor Cunt sits in the corner reading Cosmo. Underneath his bed is a Zombie that keeps growling and swiping at his feet, this greatly annoys John, who looks down at the zombie and the back up at Raptor Cunt and throws whatever he can get his hands on at Raptor, while yelling "Shut up Raptor!" After about 15 minutes of this, Higgins rushes in and opens his mouth to emmit the sound of a Foghorn, before slamming the door shut and leaves. Later that night the family is getting ready for dinner, but right before they get the table set they hear a knock at the door and Higgins goes to answer it.